Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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