q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

Little Susie fell of the swings. Where did she go? On the ground.

What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

Jack Stevens

Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...