What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Nickelback.

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Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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How did the Muslim girl get pregnant? She was brutally raped on the streets of Baghdad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops