Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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