Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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c======3

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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