what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

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knock knock There's no door

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do u like chicken ? ....no good...cuz its for black people.

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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What the the newly born male dog get for his first birthday? A loss of two testicles.

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hola said the chinese man

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There was a two car pile up at wal-mart. 50 mexicans were killed.

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

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why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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I have an excuse why one leg and one arm ar shorter than the ather two. I was born sideways and pulled out by an arm and a leg, trust me im not stupid or gay... ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........................That was my turrets kickin in and i have dislexia if i didnt spell turrets right

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

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Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops