A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT i farted. : l

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

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Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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HOLY COW!

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

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Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

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This stuff on espn about Jason Collins is very gay

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What is cowboy say

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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