- Anti Joke

What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

Why did the house burn down? Obama

Why didn't the ice cream cross the road? ??(?/?) ?. (KOREAN)

A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

A Hispanic, Jew and black man walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out because he's closed.

What's white and black and lives in the ghetto : a panda bear

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

roses are red FACT violets are blue FACT this ryhm is boring how about you FACT

Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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