What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

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What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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