How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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They see me trollin' They hatin'...

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Tommy got neutered.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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Wanna hear a joke? that disabled guy who wants to climb mount everest.

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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roses are gray, violets are gray, Im a dog

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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Why did the man fail to enter the CAPTCHA phrase correctly? Because he was actually a bot, and bots are typically prohibited from accessing information on most public web sites.

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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a dedicated fat guy joins a kung fu dojo he is asked to dedicate his like to his kung fu the fat man dose not he is already dedicated to being a fat guy

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-knock knock! -doors open

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

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High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops