A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Once upon a time, people died. It was happening all over the land. They didn't LIVE happily ever after... since they died. The end... for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How Do You Fart Eat Beans

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Fox News

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

your momma eats so much ice cream, you often find yourself without anything sweet to eat late at night when you're hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You know whats funny Aids

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do u keep annoying children off your front lawn? Molest Them.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Dear Rubix Cube, DONE!! Sincerely, Colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mama is so fat... she died due to type two diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did sonic run at the speed of sound because he was fast

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats dumb and small? dandruff

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops