Dislike this joke for a cookie However if you like this joke you dont get a cookie

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a fox? An eaten chicken.

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What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

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When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

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A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

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2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

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What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

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Moral

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Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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