What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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this is just a tribute to the greatest anti-joke ever told as I can't quite remember how it went, but you gotta beleive me, you just had to be there, it's a matter of opinion.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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roses are red violets are twisted turn around bitch your about to get fisted

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Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

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What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children

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how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

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What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

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I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

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Jack Stevens

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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What did the joke say to the antijoke? Nothing.

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What do you give hobos? Febreeze

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Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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