I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's white, black and tan? The people of planet earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, violets are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So, a screw driver walks into a bar, and the bar tender sais "Hey Screw Driver" we have a drink named after you" the screw driver goes, "Really? You have a drink named Bob"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I take my cleats off when I jump on trampolines

thumb_up thumb_down -11

pretty soon we'll all be dead

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died from chlamydia.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man, a Rabbi, a circus clown, a soldier and the Pope all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man sit on the chair? Because he was tired of standing

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops