When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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whats worse than the holocaust ? ms.brinkmann? noo close....a black guy trying toget a job.

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What can fly? Lots of things

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How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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Why didn't the monkey cross the road? He saw the chicken get run over.

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

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What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

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j

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Logan's gay

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Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

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Whats the difference between cake and dead babies? Cakes make people happy while dead babies are a sad and disturbing sight to see.

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what goes round , and round , and croaks? a blender in a frog.

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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