Religious fanatics: WE MUST NOT SIN! Jesus: And I died for their sins? They do not even try a bit of sex and rock and roll? Now that is a sin :( I died for nothing then :( Religious fanatics: Damn!

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Falafel. Falafel who? I falafel. You feel awful? Ha, ha, ha! Oh, what a kneeslapper! Oh, God! Thanks for the laugh, I was feeling a little down and I... No, I just meant I ate a falafel. Oh. Yeah.

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what happened when a duck flew over the hunter during duck hunting season? the hunter shot at the bird, but fortunately, the hunter was nit very good so the duck flew back to his wife and children by the pond.

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Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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An African american man fell out of a boat at sea. He swam back to the boat.

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Why do black people love watermelon and fried chicken? Honestly who doesn't? Duh! Because most people do! Moral: Not so sure about the coolaid though...

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So does Blake

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

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Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

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Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

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Jim: You know whats funny? Bob: What? Jim: The 28th Amendment.

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Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

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what happened when glen haire jumped of a high building? he died.

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what is white and sticky a stick from a birch tree

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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why was the black guy running from the cops? i dont know either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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