Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

this girl and guy were sitting on my couch turns out its my sister and her boyfriend and she just farted

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens when you shoot Chuck Norris? You go to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? A. it said concentrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +4

3 men walk into a bank. They rob the bank and kil 13 hostages.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What would Steve Jobs be doing today if he were alive? Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than a baby in a trash can The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops