Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

Erron, who the hell do you work for? I thought we where friends, allies! We have not done anything illegal ever!

A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Q: Why did George Lopez walk into a Taco Bell? A: To purchase a 5-layer Gordita Burrito

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

Q: What do you call a black pilot. A: A pilot you racist.

a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

42

One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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MOAR??

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