Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than a mentally retarded boy screaming in your ear while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors? 2 retarded boys screaming in your ears while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many light bulbs? 1

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to Dave when he walked across the road? He got hit by a car and died... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Dave...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Gay jokes arn't funny. "Come" on guys.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

my gramma died

thumb_up thumb_down -2

yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You are being like super pervert now, I would never ever even try weed, cocaine is the real deal, you know I do not mean that. Anyway does it work on everyone?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Where do you find a vegetable? Where you left him

thumb_up thumb_down -2

KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is Osama bin laden so hard to find? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My penis is big... not.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Think of a number between 0 and 2 That's how many times you're going to die in this life

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Tough crowd tonight...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops