Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Who Who who? Who who who Who who who who? Who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who…

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My penis is big... not.

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A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

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How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

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What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

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a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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A Mexican, a Caucasian, and an African-American jump out of an airplane. They all die.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops