What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

What's the difference between a book. A tree's leaves hit the trash cans

Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

Why was the 3 year old high He was flying

No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

want to hear a dirty joke tommy fell in the mud a clean joke he took a bath with bubbles bubbles was his neighbor

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

What's good? Anything that is not bad.

Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

Roses are red, Violets are violet

Why did Sally get hit with a fridge? Because someone threw a fridge at Sally Why would someone throw a fridge at her? Because Sally has no arms

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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