Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

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What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

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Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

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it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

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What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

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You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

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What do you call a black man and a black woman having sex? A husband and wife who love each other very much and are trying to have a baby.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

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Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

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what's brown and sticky A stick!

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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Chuck Norris screams in pain.

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How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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