Moooo

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

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200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

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What did the man with AIDS say to the other man? I have AIDS and will most likely succumb to the disease.

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A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

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cancer

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Why was Sally lying on the ground? Cause she was dead

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A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks have herbivorous diet mainly consisting of wild grasses, berries, as well as agricultural crops when they are available.

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

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How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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Domonic is a gay homo!!!!!!!!!!!! Vagina

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What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

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What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

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What does the name Joe mean? Joe Mama! Egit

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Come on, I am trying to cheer you up a bit, honestly how high?

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Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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