How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

If you're riding on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a car? Blue. Because Ice cream doesn't have any bones.

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

A French man gets into a fight

Justin Bieber hits puberty

I am a joke. I am funny.

What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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