two people are falling out of a plane, a blond and a brunnete who hit the ground first. the blond, the brunnete brought a parachute

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

How do u know that your obese ? People stare at you

holly shit!!!! when did i get on the internet !?

Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

Leslie's husband admitted to being gay, which came to the surprise of no one, seeing as Leslie is a man.

What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

what did the african boy get for christmas - not food

What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

why was it sad that 3 men were crossing rail road tracks in a toyota and got hit by a train? they ruined the Toyota

Q: Why did the little boy who just got over a terrible sore throat fall down the stairs? A: His legs were brutally torn off by wolves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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