James: They say attitudes are contagious. Bill: How do you know? James: My whole family caught it and they will all die within 2 weeks.

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A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

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When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

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Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

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8================================================================================================D-------------------------------------------- It can coil!

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because his work office was there and if he had not crossed, he would have had to get back in his car and parked in the company parking space therefore taking more time and costing a small but significant amount of money

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What happened when the dog was was let out to chase the rabbit? It caught the rabbit and killed it.

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How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

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Guess what? Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops