Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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why did the boy drown? because water entered his lungs and suffocated him.

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

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What is long and black The unemployment line

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what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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White people talk like this 'HEY' Black people talk like this 'YO' Hundreds of thousands died in the civil war.

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What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I doubt it thought much about this. The chicken is a simple animal, and i doubt its actions were spurred by any particular motivation.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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why did the jew cross the road? the ss was chasing him and his family to kill him so he ran across the street to same his family, he got hit by a truck and his family was killed...

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Do u liek mudkipz GO TROLLING

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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"jrfevkhbgjk" said the retard.

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People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops