Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

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this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

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the cast of the jersey shore

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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A black man walks up to a jewish man in a bar. They engage into a nice conversation, seeing how they were friends back in college.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

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What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo Boo hoo? Boo hoo your parents are dead.

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whats at the end of the rainbow? Purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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