Why did the chicken cross the road? For a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does Batman say to scare Robin? Don't make me get the bat!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -18

she wasn't 18

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Do you believe this will change?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after A-N-A-L

thumb_up thumb_down -18

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

God is real

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the black man leave the bar? Someone shot his girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey. By darragh hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the prisoner say to the other prisoner? I am going to anally rape you.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A: Have you ever heard of a blue waffle? B: Yes, i eat them every morning... A: DO you REALLY know what a blue waffle is? B: Yes...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock-Knock The man wasn't home, so there was no answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops