A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

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Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Obama

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A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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Whats the XBOX JUAN's most popular game. Call of Juarez!!!

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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What is worse than using the toilet and then realising there's no toilet paper? A racially motivated massacre.

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Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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