Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to....

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops