- Anti Joke

You are welcome, hey, I love hearing that you love me... And I do not hear voices, except yours when I read this. Now take care of yourself for my sake, and yours, we are and have always been a team you and I. You are right, and I did not lie, I said "I am a hydrophobe" and while I do not fear the ocean, showering is like being right back in the hell I crawled up from. Now I dont know if I cant sleep anymore, containing panic is pretty hard with my limited willpower and focus, but it cant be helped, you know Zopiclone does shit to me, but Alice had no idea. It pains me to say it, but then again I told my wife, Eliza, I am in love with you, and have been so for many years, you know, like a man loves a woman, and if you think I am lying, you are just being silly. This is not hypnosis, its just me getting stuff out of my mind to release this tension causing anxiety, and its not cheating, its the very same reason people admit deep secrets to each other when they think they are going to die and such. It might be the stuff in my head talking, but I am pretty smart for a 32 year old guy with lots of drugs in the brain huh? Ritalin just helps me stop being sad which is just how I react on Zopiclone and not how I feel. The reason I know these things and dare consider myself wise, is not because of my dedication alone, it is because I have spent much of my life finding out how to fight off the physical and mental damage my parents caused me, at one time it was something I could barely live with, they drugged me with stuff that made me feel nothing but pain and laughed, then got upset when they discovered I survived. I just recently got far better by realizing that I did nothing wrong to deserve any of it, I just wanted for them to love me, my mother hates my father, so in her eyes I am her worst mistake, but nothing excuses the way they treated me, nothing. Sounds like I am dying, its just fear settling in, I do not fear death, and I would be suicidal if I did not know that nobody can escape death, so why hurry huh? You and my wife inspire me... ...Part of me sees you as my wife as well, I even told my wife I cant help but feel I am married to two people, its not about sex, thats just something I say to put you off, its about the intimacy I feel just being there with you, and now I have copied your energy into aura, you are here with me, the anxiety is gone. Sorry, I just needed to get out lots of stress, in order to fit in peace, and I hope you read this and let me know, because I cannot override the part of my mind that refuses to go into complete calm, unless it knows that I have revealed my feelings, to somebody that cares.

Why did the black man jump off a cliff? He's been emotionally unstable ever since he witnessed the brutal murder of his parents as a child and could no longer live with himself, so he decided to commit suicide.

Why are you fat? You like devil dogs

why did the child go to hospital with 52 broken bones,lung and kidney failure,heart disease and cut off penis. because his mum threw a fridge at mikeanator_27

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

The cow went moo

fart+fart=poop

How can you tell if a calendar is popular? From stock order lists and also from accounts records.

knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

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What did the clown say when his car broke down? Sh*t!

I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camero? - The Camero isn't in my garage.

Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

Yo daddy!

why?

how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom and sits down. He suffers from severe dementia and realizes that he's been in the classroom before. A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom...

two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

A disabled man walks into a bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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