knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

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Why did the mathematician cross the road? To get his mail.

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

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What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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Knock Knock I don't have a door. I'm Homeless

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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How do you feed a mockingbird? Give it some food.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

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what happens during a climax apples

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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