A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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why did the baby start crying? someone threw a brick at it

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? names

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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The WNBA

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

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I did your mom..... A favor..... By making you..... A sandwich...... With mustard.....

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Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

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What did the police say to the black man who just shot his wife? You are under arrest

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why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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Knock Knock Yes?

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

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Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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