The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

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how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

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a man walks into a bar he is promtly escorted out due to the fact that he wanted to kill the bars owner. The man got life in prison with no chance of parole. This mans name was Michael Myers.

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What's the difference between an apple and an orange? 87

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

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What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

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what's worse than finding a fat couple in a buffet?

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What happened after Peter broke his toe? He went into cardiac arrest and died.

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How do you get straight A's? Try really hard throughout the school year and when it comes to the exams study enough to ensure you understand all the material, but so so much as to compromise your sleeping pattern, and in turn, your performance on the day.

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What is Freddie Mercury's favorite planet? Earth.

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womens rights to vote

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milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops