Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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Hey

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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feminism

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive? ......because women cant drive(:

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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Your adopted

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops