How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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What did the penguin do in the desert? He died .

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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