What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops