What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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knock knock who's there? a dog ......dogs cant talk ..................

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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