- Anti Joke

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

kennah campion when she talks

Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

I cant find my anti-jokes this is also one

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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