Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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Penis

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A dancer walks into a barre

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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