Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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Whenever someone asks you why you're sad, always remember this simple answer so that people won't keep asking you more questions: "Because Hitler died"

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

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What do you call a black prostetut with braces. A black and decker pecker wrecker

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Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

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why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops