Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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