why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

ermm Hello ? what about me says rishi with a tear down his eye

thumb_up thumb_down -22

So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse then 10 babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

thumb_up thumb_down -22

The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops