What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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