why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

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Whats more worse than a dead baby? You shouldn't be thinking about dead babies or stuff worse than them, it is sad.

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This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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what is the difference between a dead baby in a bag and a dead baby hung in the yard....the dead baby hung in the yard was shot down off the cross after being rmr'd

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Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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