Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

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what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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A man walked into a bar owch

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

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What did the murderer do after killing the family? he went to jail.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

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Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

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"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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