Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

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your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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Jesus hates you this I know, because Buddha told me soo.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

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What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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