What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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hahahahahah http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=sonny+bartlett&hl=en&sa=X&tbm=isch&tbnid=s37cS73V74A8YM:&imgrefurl=http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCASl7llFhDpTF8vwjDlGI_g/videos&docid=kJoLzGiYRM-2AM&itg=1&imgurl=https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-si7_hCcHI7E/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAAAA/HzlEl3ilyyM/s55-c-k/photo.jpg&w=55&h=55&ei=GrgsUZ_kJqac0AWExIC4BQ&zoom=1&biw=1024&bih=616&iact=rc&dur=188&sig=111947294788926856610&page=1&tbnh=55&tbnw=55&start=0&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:0,i:109&tx=27&ty=11

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Nothing. He made it home safely.

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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John lazzaro likes dick

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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what did the man say when he was reading a book? nothing, if u assume the situation when hes reading to himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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