roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What ended in the year 1970? 1969

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many Jews can you fit in a Car? 2 in the front seat 3 in the back seat 5 in the trunk and a couple thousand in the Ashtray -WSS Gaming

thumb_up thumb_down -3

quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hello Braydon I am at home where are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A few people were put in a room with 5 doors and 4 were a certain death one was freedom and they had to choose a door to go in not knowing which was freedom the first person went in the door on the far left. He got raped by Michael Jackson. The second guy opened the door on the far right. He got in a room entirely made of ice cream. He ate all of it and got such a brain freeze his brain froze. The third and final guy turned around and noticed a door labeled exit. He exited the room and continued his life as a normal person

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Vagina Boob

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Once upon a time, people died. It was happening all over the land. They didn't LIVE happily ever after... since they died. The end... for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops